SAULT STE. MARIE, MICHIGAN—With only a few hundred unbanished words left in the language, the rest of the English-speaking world has voted to banish Lake Superior State University from the face of the earth.
The college, based in Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan, is famous for its annual Words Banished from the Queen's English for Mis-Use, Over-Use and General Uselessness. In recent years the college has taken some heat for banning words such as "you," "donut," and "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."
"Lake Superior State has become a bit too, well, superior," said adjective historian Red Black.
The list, really just a silly publicity stunt, has proved to be irresistible to an unthinking media who dutifully report the latest banned words each January 1st. The college bought into the hype and began banning words in earnest about 10 years ago. About 98 per cent of all words are currently banned.
Professional note-taker Han DiCreppit was ecstatic about the result. "Perhaps now, with that annoying college out of our lives forever, we can rebuild the English language to its former glory. I, for one, can't wait to incorporate words such as 'but' and 'kumquat' back into my work."
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