SCHECHENECTADY, NY—After a long and tempestuous marriage, the two senses of the word "oversight" have petitioned for a divorce. Citing irreconcilable differences, the "responsible" sense of the word ("Watchful care or management") and the "irresponsible" sense ("An omission or error") have separated.
"It just got to be too much after a while," said responsible oversight. "The other oversight can't be trusted with even the smallest task. It's 'Oops!' this and 'Sorry!' that. I believe in being careful and in making sure that things get done right, so I just can't stand to live with such neglect."
"Yeah, you're careful, all right," countered irresponsible oversight at a tense press conference. "You're constantly watching over my shoulder and then jumping down my throat when I make the least little mistake. You need to lighten up!"
Linguist Dieter Sprachgefühl said this is the first time that two senses of a word have filed for divorce. "They say that opposites attract, and for a while these two senses got along quite well," he said. "But when you have two diametrically opposed meanings within the same word, well, really, what kind of future could they have had together?"
Some lexicographers are concerned about the impact the pending divorce will have on the language.
"Oversight isn't the only word having marital difficulties," said Loretta Letter, Chief Speller at Random House. "I've heard that the two opposite senses of 'screen' (to view; to hide from view) and 'cleave' (to separate; to adhere firmly) have been fighting like cats and dogs. It may be just a matter of time."
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